mommy went back to work, omg!

Monday was my first day of work and I was of course sad to leave the boys and nervous that they would be okay and that Mike would have a good day with them.  Kelly came over to help and they did have a good day!  I did too. I think that my new job will be a good fit and although the 5 days a week thing will be very tough on us for a few months, after that it will be 3 days a week and I am sure that will seem like a breeze.   Now that I am finally getting out the house and talking to other adults, I realize how desperately I have missed my career and how invigorating it is to have something to work toward again. I love being a nurse and the challenges that a new hospital and new beginnings will bring are so exciting...it is great to be thinking and interacting with the world again.  I have been in survival mode for over a year...getting through the pregnancy and hospitalizations, trying to figure out how to be a good mom to three little babies while not forgetting to be a wife to my husband, trying to remember to be thankful that the boys and I are alive and cherish the little things while just trying to get through the day.  And I can feel myself coming out of it, and these past few days have really torn the wool off of my eyes and let me see how much I needed something more again.  I was probably ready for it months ago and yet the boys were so much my priority that I forgot the person behind the mommy....it is amazing the things we do not see in ourselves when we are overwhelmed and "in the trenches". 

According to Mike and Kelly, the babies coped pretty well with my absence until I got home, then you would have thought that I had abandoned them forever. "They were fine until you got home" was my favorite quote of the evening. They all started reaching up and howling and followed me like frantic ducklings into the hallway and bathroom as I set my coat and bag down and washed my hands. It is definitely more challenging to hold all three of them at once now than it was a few months ago, but I managed and they all hugged me  and clung to me and made me feel both happy and sad all at once.  Little Konrad handled my absence the worst, he didn't take a nap all day and he slept poorly at night too. He cried as I walked out the door on Tuesday and I cried a little too. It breaks my heart to leave them, especially when they are crying as I leave, but I know that if mommy is happier then we will all be happier.

Konrad is starting to talk quite a bit. He says "mommy", "more", and "ohbee" and all sorts of other chatter. Zachary is making noises all the time too, and laughing, but his favorite word is definitely still "daddy". Little Mike finally said "momma" intentionally this evening as he reached up for me but he isn't really making the same consonant noises like the other two.  

Mikey officially has 6 teeth now, the last four came within a couple of weeks, poor baby. Zachary and Konrad both have three and are working on their fourth.  We finally have started them on some real solids. We started with cottage cheese, noodles and soggy cheerios. Konrad and Zachary took really well to the whole "texture" thing. Konrad especially just feeds himself like he has been doing it for months...he probably should have been, but oh well...Zachary is a bit more hesitant and interested in squishing everything and Mikey wants absolutely nothing to do with it. This is a little worrisome since he has always had a slight issue with sucking his bottle and he is most behind in language and fine motor skills...I guess I will  have to have him looked at again and evaluated.  

Mikey is still the fastest crawler, with Zachary close behind, but the interesting thing is the style...they have the speed but they are army crawling. Konrad is crawling "for real" and with such precision, but he is really slow. He gets up on his hands and knees and does the classic crawl, slowly but perfectly. It is absolutely adorable and he is so proud of himself, but he rolls over onto his back alot still and gives up easily since his stamina isn't that great. We have been dedicatedly practicing their walking and they are all making "great strides" toward being more independent.  This is another place that I need Konrad evaluated though because his torticollis hasn't fully corrected itself and it is affecting his spine  and neck so he falls over more easily when crawling and favors his right side when walking. He probably needs some physical therapy in the same way that little Mike needs speech and occupational therapy, but as I am paying closer attention to them, I am realizing that they do need to be evaluated and plugged into resources that can help me make sure that they are developmentally on time. The whole "adjusted age" factor has been making me be way more laid back about their delays than I otherwise might have, but at the 1 year mark, I am feeling like it is time for action...plus I have seen a few other babies around their same age lately and I am realizing that they probably are a bit behind...I will keep everyone updated on what we find out. I am not going to freak out about anything, but information gathering is never a bad thing...so we will get more information and just have them looked at...now all I have to do is find a good pediatrician, lol.

And these are the clean daddy feedings...

"You want me to do what with this?"

"mmmm squishy"

"Finally, food I can eat by myself"

The clean up...

but soft, what light from yonder east...

I can see the light!!! My boys are starting to come back to me. I almost cried this morning when I heard them laughing, playing and chattering away in the living room...these sounds of normalcy are something I haven't heard for days. They still have very snotty noses and junky coughs, but its better than that barky non-productive cough so we are making progress. They are getting less needy and much more independent again too...almost back to themselves, although they are still milking it here and there, laugh. Each one of them is so very different and never has it been more apparent this past 10 days of sickness. Konrad is so Konrad, he just wants to be held and loved on and cared for and he wants is to go away and stop. Zachary is such a good sport and a fighter until he is really, really sick and then by the time he goes down he is in trouble and it is bad and has snuck up on us all, then he wants to be held because he is scared and usually so am I. Mikey is the ultimate drama king. He will play and play right through the inconvenience of it all until he has an audience or actual pain, then he can whip up tears and the puppy dog face with his lower lip out like no other and although he doesn't really want to be held, he will hold his arms up and whimper like he does and then cry anyway when you pick him up. The same exact illness started out so very differently in each of them, but now they are pretty much a chorus of junky coughs and sniffles, laugh. I can only hope that they keep getting better.

During this same 10 days, little Mikey cut three new teeth, poor baby and Zachary and Konrad are working on their two top teeth as we speak. They are all getting faster and better at crawling and they are so interactive with each other. They are walking while holding on to our fingers and sometimes they try to take off while holding nothing because they are so used to their walkers holding them up for balance...that is a lesson they will not have to learn to many times I should think, face plants are a hard learning method but highly effective. Konrad and Zachary have clearly voiced and meant their first words. Konrad will say "mama" to me when I am holding him or walking out of the room away from him, he also say "ohbee" although we don't really know what this one means. Zachary calls "dada" to Mike and sometimes to me, but he is definitely a Daddy's boy and knows that it means daddy. Mikey hasn't clearly spoken to us yet, but sometimes I think that he will open up his mouth and entire paragraphs will just start flowing. The boys are starting to develop their own little language and noises too. They have a certain growling noise that they all make to each other and then laugh and laugh and they run around after each other doing this and a few other noises over and over again. I absolutely cannot believe that we are in the last 2 weeks of their eleventh month...we have had them for almost one year, simply amazing.

Mike with 103 degree fever...this about sums the past week up

Grandma Carol and Georgia feeding the boys

a plague on both our houses

All of the babies are still sick. Matt and Ambers kids have it too so somehow we all got it together...I can't think of where...All of the babies have been sick since last Tuesday and Konrad since last Sunday. We are definitely changing doctors offices...at least I got that out of all of this. In the past week we have has 4 doctor visits and 2 ER visits, I mean really? Konrad started it with his string of 102-103 temps and then he got a runny nose and a cough and then Michael got hoarse, with runny nose and cough and fevers of 103 as well and then finally Zach succumbed to it with the worst case of all...probably because he didn't really get the high fevers so his body wasn't fighting as well as the other two were. We took them all to the doctors for the 3rd time on Friday and he poo poo'd me. I asked for a steroid for Zachary or albuterol, I was so worried the night before when he couldn't catch his breathe but the doctor refused. I asked three times, no crap, three times and I wasn't meak about it and he said no, he has an ear infection, his lungs sound clear...now perhaps it is the doctors age or I don't know what, but I could hear the wheeze from across the room. Of course, we did kjust come inside from out of the cold and IF the boys had croup or something like that the cold would have opened up their airway and made it better for the examination, but no no, doctor knows best and mommy, the pediatric nurse who knows what a kid in trouble looks and sounds like is just a laymen and couldn't know better than the old school doctor so of course it is just an ear infection and of course he will be fine...he even gave me his "just a cold" lecture as he called it and here is some amoxicillin for that ear infection, he will be just fine...pompous old wind bag...so we get home and Zachary has a bad evening and they all have a bad even coughing and snotting and crying from their painful coughs. My parents were there to help us because all of those sick babies were just a bit over the top and Mike and I had been dealing with sick babies for 6 days already with no end in sight. And that night sure enough, Zachary cannot breath again. So my mom and I spend 2 hours in the steamy bathroom trying to help him breath and trying to avoid the ER because it is snowing and of course I have somewhere to be in the next 3 hours at 8 am for the first time in months, I have a BLS class for my new job that I have to go to. Finally I say I have to go but call me if it gets worse. Thank God the class goes fast and I get home to Zachary working hard to breathe and everyone kond of hands him to me like, do you want your mommy...and mommy takes one listen and then decides that we are going to urgent care. And urgent care takes one listen and decides that we are going to ER. and ER takes one listen and decides that he needs, steroids (uhuh) and an epinephrine breathing treatment. After he got his steroids and treatments, screaming and crying and freaking out from the side effects all the while, he finally fell asleep after a few hours and he did improve...so they send us home with a nebulizer for albuterol treatments and send us on our way. That night went fine, my parents and sister Georgia and brother Kurt and his wife Kelly were all there with food and reinforcement energy to help that evening and my parents and Georgia had to spend the night due to the highways being closed form the snow storm. We had an okay night but Zach woke up in trouble with his breathing again the next morning. And I watched and waited and made sure that I wasn't over reacting...we made him lay low, no walker now crawling because everytime he does anything at all he cannot catch his breath. Tom and Debbie were over and spent the afternoon baby wrangling with us, but little Mike was in rare form and needed lots of attention and Konrad was, well Konrad, and we were all watching Zachary pretty closely. And finally at 11pm last night, I got worried again because Zachary just could not catch his breath again, so back to the ER. adn He got another treatment of epinephrine and they sent us home again. Last night, I spent the ENTIRE night holding Zachary in my arms so that he could sleep. He had a very bad night and was so very wheezy and kept coughing and he just would not let me put him down, he got absolutely hysterical when I relaxed my arms or tried to lay him next to me, even propped on a pillow or in his carseat, he just demanded to be held all night or he screamed and screamed...so I did. So now I am tired, sore, with three coughing cranky still sick babies and I don't really see enough improvement to feel like there is an end in sight and all of my reinforcements have been tapped out and well....shit...a plague on both our houses...may the curse be lifted soon...

new years, teething and sick babies...

Ava, Zachary, Konrad, Mikey and Spencer on New Years Eve!

New Years Eve Hats!

We have had a very busy ten days. New years night we went to Matt and Amber's house and spent the night and we had a very nice time. The boys actually slept and the adults got in a few board games and conversation. The next morning we had breakfast together and went home. On New Years day, Mike and the boys went on an adventure to the mall with Grandma and Grandpa Mitchell and mommy stayed home for some rest. On Friday, Scott, Darcie and Jamison came to visit and it was great to see them and meet little Jamison for the first time. He really is quite adorable and getting so alert and aware of his surroundings. Darcie has to start back to work this week and I can imagine how hard that must be, especially since my start date is coming soon. We really enjoyed their visit and we were so thankful that they were willing to make the drive down to see us.

Now for the boys, over the past week the boys started getting their top teeth. Mikey has taken the lead with both the top left and the one next to it already popping through and the top right close behind, poor baby, three teeth at once! Konrad is working on getting the top left and top right and so is Zachary, but none of theirs have come through yet. They are grumpy and putting everything that they can get their hands on in their mouth. Then on Sunday night, Konrad got a high fever of 103 and we have been fighting it (and him) ever since. He won't lay down and wants to be held and when his fever spikes over 101 he just lays there and whines even when we are holding him. He is obviously very uncomfortable and of course the doctor says its a virus...but we are on day 3 of fever now and I am a bit skeptical. He is so sad, his voice is hoarse and his nose is running. We have been taking shifts at night, but we are both pretty fried and tired of having to hold him constantly day and night. We had avoided Mike and Zach being sick but last night Mikey's voice was hoarse and this morning he is just pitiful. He is crying crocodile tears and his voice is so hoarse and his nose is running and he spiked a fever of 101.8 already this morning. So sad. I knew we were in trouble because he slept 3 hours yesterday afternoon and 14 hours last night...and then he let me hold him and put his head on my shoulder and just sat there...this is extremely atypical Mikey behavior so I know he feels like crap. Zachary is showing signs of a runny nose but no hoarseness or fever yet...here is hoping that one of them doesn't get it because Zachary always has lung issues when he gets sick and I don't want that. I guess that I am glad that Mike is not working during this time, but we are getting in each others way and on each others nerves...three teething babies, two sick ones, an unemployed Daddy and no sleep...recipe for disaster I would say...here is hoping that we survive, lol.

Jamison

Scott, Darcie and Jamison