mommy went back to work, omg!

Monday was my first day of work and I was of course sad to leave the boys and nervous that they would be okay and that Mike would have a good day with them.  Kelly came over to help and they did have a good day!  I did too. I think that my new job will be a good fit and although the 5 days a week thing will be very tough on us for a few months, after that it will be 3 days a week and I am sure that will seem like a breeze.   Now that I am finally getting out the house and talking to other adults, I realize how desperately I have missed my career and how invigorating it is to have something to work toward again. I love being a nurse and the challenges that a new hospital and new beginnings will bring are so exciting...it is great to be thinking and interacting with the world again.  I have been in survival mode for over a year...getting through the pregnancy and hospitalizations, trying to figure out how to be a good mom to three little babies while not forgetting to be a wife to my husband, trying to remember to be thankful that the boys and I are alive and cherish the little things while just trying to get through the day.  And I can feel myself coming out of it, and these past few days have really torn the wool off of my eyes and let me see how much I needed something more again.  I was probably ready for it months ago and yet the boys were so much my priority that I forgot the person behind the mommy....it is amazing the things we do not see in ourselves when we are overwhelmed and "in the trenches". 

According to Mike and Kelly, the babies coped pretty well with my absence until I got home, then you would have thought that I had abandoned them forever. "They were fine until you got home" was my favorite quote of the evening. They all started reaching up and howling and followed me like frantic ducklings into the hallway and bathroom as I set my coat and bag down and washed my hands. It is definitely more challenging to hold all three of them at once now than it was a few months ago, but I managed and they all hugged me  and clung to me and made me feel both happy and sad all at once.  Little Konrad handled my absence the worst, he didn't take a nap all day and he slept poorly at night too. He cried as I walked out the door on Tuesday and I cried a little too. It breaks my heart to leave them, especially when they are crying as I leave, but I know that if mommy is happier then we will all be happier.

Konrad is starting to talk quite a bit. He says "mommy", "more", and "ohbee" and all sorts of other chatter. Zachary is making noises all the time too, and laughing, but his favorite word is definitely still "daddy". Little Mike finally said "momma" intentionally this evening as he reached up for me but he isn't really making the same consonant noises like the other two.  

Mikey officially has 6 teeth now, the last four came within a couple of weeks, poor baby. Zachary and Konrad both have three and are working on their fourth.  We finally have started them on some real solids. We started with cottage cheese, noodles and soggy cheerios. Konrad and Zachary took really well to the whole "texture" thing. Konrad especially just feeds himself like he has been doing it for months...he probably should have been, but oh well...Zachary is a bit more hesitant and interested in squishing everything and Mikey wants absolutely nothing to do with it. This is a little worrisome since he has always had a slight issue with sucking his bottle and he is most behind in language and fine motor skills...I guess I will  have to have him looked at again and evaluated.  

Mikey is still the fastest crawler, with Zachary close behind, but the interesting thing is the style...they have the speed but they are army crawling. Konrad is crawling "for real" and with such precision, but he is really slow. He gets up on his hands and knees and does the classic crawl, slowly but perfectly. It is absolutely adorable and he is so proud of himself, but he rolls over onto his back alot still and gives up easily since his stamina isn't that great. We have been dedicatedly practicing their walking and they are all making "great strides" toward being more independent.  This is another place that I need Konrad evaluated though because his torticollis hasn't fully corrected itself and it is affecting his spine  and neck so he falls over more easily when crawling and favors his right side when walking. He probably needs some physical therapy in the same way that little Mike needs speech and occupational therapy, but as I am paying closer attention to them, I am realizing that they do need to be evaluated and plugged into resources that can help me make sure that they are developmentally on time. The whole "adjusted age" factor has been making me be way more laid back about their delays than I otherwise might have, but at the 1 year mark, I am feeling like it is time for action...plus I have seen a few other babies around their same age lately and I am realizing that they probably are a bit behind...I will keep everyone updated on what we find out. I am not going to freak out about anything, but information gathering is never a bad thing...so we will get more information and just have them looked at...now all I have to do is find a good pediatrician, lol.

And these are the clean daddy feedings...

"You want me to do what with this?"

"mmmm squishy"

"Finally, food I can eat by myself"

The clean up...